It would appear that I have unceremoniously dumped this blog. I think I’ve posted twice this month. Nothing has gotten any better in the world-you would think that equals more to write about, and you may be right.
But I’m going through some changes. I have become a Clozapine patient.
This is supposed to help me think clearer. It has not exactly done that. It has altered my thinking, and clouded it a bit. I am struggling to get over some sort of mental hump, which my doctor says I will overcome in due time.
I started this blog in 2007, occasionally going for political laughs.
If you’ve been with me for a while circa 2011, you know I rechristened this blog as a wild-minded, delusional outburst due to my struggle with bipolar disorder. Many of you laughed while I cried out loud, and that was what I wanted.
I have recovered. In 2015, I took the blog in a new/old direction, concentrating my fire on the right wing in this country once again. Like all bloggers, I did it for myself. And if someone wanted to join me on this journey of agitation for just a couple of minutes a day, then that made me happy.
I had a good head of steam going until I quit my job to become a full time Clozapine user. My doctor has been pushing me to use it ever since I’ve been with her. The drug requires an investment. I have to get my blood tested once a week to ensure the drug isn’t causing something called agranulocytosis, which is a fancy way of saying that your white blood cell count is tanking. One in 100 Clozapine users have this issue. In case you are wondering, as of this writing I am not one of the exceptions.
It causes a laundry list of possible side effects. The two I am struggling with is drooling, and having considerable trouble going from sitting to standing. This drug is work-prohibitive in light of all the new things I am going through to be a patient.
I can manage all of this, if there is a benefit to be had. I am having some clarity, but not enough yet, not enough to balance all this new shit that I’m doing. But I’ve committed to this, and have to see if it gives me relief from my disease.
But anyway, the blog has been dead. Lord knows we live in strange times, and I should be here documenting it. I shall return, soon enough. I just wanted to explain that I’m on some new brain juice and I am not quite comfortable writing in what I think would be a new voice.
Catch you later. Something is going to irritate me to the point of distraction and I’ll need to share it.